Extract from ‘Sexual Secret for Men’ (pp99-101) by Kerry Riley

SOME COMMON CONCERNS ABOUT DAILY DEVOTION

'I find it difficult to go along with the idea of having contact with my partner regularly whether I feel like it or not. What should I do?'

Try to understand that this is a means of bonding together. Your relationship is more important than how you feelings change. If your relationship is dependent on whether you feel good, you are going to be disappointed a lot of the time. Daily Devotion is part of an agreement that a conscious loving couple make to be in sexual contact regularly as a way of healing and energising each other and bonding more closely.

'I find it difficult not to move.'

This is merely a matter of learning to break old habits. You do not have to move just because that is the way they always do it in the movies. Lovemaking need not always involve movement. It is worth mastering total stillness because a lot of women really love it!

'I tried morning devotion once and it did nothing for me.'

This is because the exchange of energy is of a subtle form. Many people do not appreciate it the first time because normally their sexual focus is to have a mind-blowing, ecstatic experience or it is no good. You need to refine your tastes to all aspects of lovemaking and appreciate the subtle as well as the mind-blowing experiences, the same way you can refine your taste and appreciate a wider range of food. Do not give up after the first time; you need to practise this for at least a week to appreciate its effect. Practise it for a week without ejaculation and you will soon start to feel the energy.

'I'm not wet and it's difficult for him to enter.'

Have some lubrication near the bed. Use a water-soluble lubrication or simply use just enough saliva to get the head of the lingam in the yoni so that the juices can be exchanged.

'If I haven't got an erection, how can I do the devotion?'

You don't need to have an erection. Use some lubricant or saliva, then gently have your partner insert the head of your lingam into her yoni so that the essences are mixing. You will get the same effect. When you are soft, the scissors position is a good way to keep the lingam from falling out of the yoni.

'I start off all right, but because we are not moving I lose my erection.'

First, do not worry about this and second, if you wish to stay erect, your partner can squeeze her yoni muscles or move a little to keep you stimulated.

'Does morning devotion always have to be man on top?'

No, although traditionally man's energy is the yang energy and the woman's energy is the yin. Being on top charges his yang energy, while her being on the bottom charges her yin energy.

I suggest that if your sex drive has not been as strong as normal and you want to build up the strength of your erection, then for one week have her take the upper position in Morning Devotion and take as much nourishment and joy as you can find from feeling the warmth of her yoni, her breasts on your chest and the shape of her hips on your tummy. Do not ejaculate during that week and I assure you, at the end of that time you will be as hard as a rockfull of love, appreciation and passion for your woman.

A final point I want to make about daily devotions is that it is important in the early stages of practice, especially in the first month, not to turn the devotion into a full lovemaking session. What can happen is your partner may not feel like making love one night, but allows you to enter because she honours your request for Evening Devotion. Then if you continue to a full lovemaking session, this breaks her trust in you and she may not allow you to enter her the next time you ask. It is important she can trust you in this process. Of course if she asks you to continue, then it is fine to do so.